Reality Is Wonderful
by atearsarahjane
Summary: What is Timothy hadn't got in Patrick's car in 2.8. What if it was just Patrick and Shelagh on the misty road, not bound by prying eyes or awkward questions.


**For Sarah who's iPhone 6 Plus still hasn't arrived and who's cake is only half perfect.**

**And to the rest of the MMEPAC girls who have been living through these traumatic experiences with her.**

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><p>'What if it had started raining? What if you'd got lost?'<p>

'I was lost. I got the wrong bus. I know you so little but I couldn't be more certain.'

'I am completely certain. I don't even know your name.'

'Shelagh.'

'Patrick.'

'There. We've made a start.'

Suddenly the need for contact became too much and Patrick pulled her flush against him and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her yet closer. Letting a sigh of happiness Shelagh leant her head against his chest letting the sound of his heartbeat wash over her. It was beating faster than it should be and secretly she thrilled that she might be the cause of it. Her own heart had been handing in her ears since she had seen the oh so familiar car appear behind her, and the achingly familiar face from her dreams behind the wheel and then half running towards her. Relaxing his grip on her Patrick lifted her face to look him in the eye once more before resting his hand gently on her shoulder.

'You're beautiful Shelagh. Forgive me but you are.'

'Thank you. I'm... glad you think so.'

'You are?' Shelagh nodded shyly but reached up to take his hand in hers. Flushing deeply she turned his hand over in hers and laid a kiss onto his palm.

'Yes. I am.' She shifted her hand to interlock her fingers with his. 'Thank you for your letters. They were very beautiful. I took great comfort from them.'

'I'm glad. All I set out to do was let you know you were not alone, that you had a friend. I may have got a little...distracted from that aim.'

'Indeed. Just as we did in real life.' She smiled.

'Yes. What will you do now? Are you sure about leaving the Order?' He asked eager to make sure that he was not misunderstanding her intentions. If she turned back now it would be hard but he would manage. Any later and he wasn't sure he would survive the pain.

'I couldn't be more certain.' She repeated. 'My future is not with the Order or as Sister Bernadette. That's not where I belong.'

'If I may be forward? Where do you now believe you belong?'

'Right here. With you. In your arms. And with Timothy. You two are my future.' She grinned up at him, joyful tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

'I love you.' He burst out suddenly no longer able to contain the thought that had been plaguing him for months. 'Sorry...you've only just left the Sanatorum...you haven't even left the Order yet...'

'I love you too.' She grinned, tears brimming in her eyes. ' For a long time I thought that it was wrong but I now know that there is nothing more right that this. This is God's work. And now I can tell you as much as I want I love you I love you I love you I love you.' He cut her off suddenly with a press of his lips to hers.

'You're wonderful. You know that? Completely marvellous.'

'You're not bad yourself.' She smiled as he stepped back to admire her once more.

'You're blonde.' He blurted out. She nodded slightly.

'Well spotted.'

'I always imagined you'd be a brunette. I don't know why.'

'Is blonde better or worse?' She asked nervously. 'I can dye my hair if you would prefer. I have no attachment to my hair colour.'

'Better. Because it's what you are, not just what I think. Empirical data beats fantasy. Reality is...wonderful. Having you in my arms, in front of me is wonderful.'

'Thank you.'

'Come on let's get you home.'

'Yes...home.' She smiled tightly as they walked over to his car.

'Shelagh? What is it? What's wrong? Do you not want to go back to Poplar? Would that be too hard? Do you want us to leave the east end and make a fresh start? Because I'll do it? For you. For us.' He said grabbing her hand.

'Its not that though I truly appreciate the offer.'

'What is it then?'

'I don't have a home anymore. Once I leave the Order I'll have to find lodgings somewhere.' She said, biting back the tears that sprung to her eyes.

'Surely you can stay at Nonnatus? They won't throw you out for leaving the Order will they? Did you not want to continue on being a nurse?'

'I don't know what my future holds careerwise but it would be too much to expect them to allow me to live with them. Sister Evangelina will not deal with this well at all and I've already had to watch Sister Julienne's heart break once this week and most probably again today. The two of them mean so much to me. They were the only people I allowed myself to love for a long time. The only mortal people I had. I can't live day in day out seeing their disappointment and hurt. It's fine I'll find lodgings somewhere. I handed over some money when I entered the Order which should return to me. I'll be fine. Won't I? I have you and Timothy now. Timothy! How much does he know about this.' She panicked.

'He knows I've been miserable since you left, he knows that I've been writing to you, he says I've been slipping into the same habits I had just after his mother died. I don't know if he's put two and two together. But he'll be happy Shelagh. He adores you, thinks you hung the moon. Takes after his old man.'

'Good. I'm very fond of him too.' She beamed. She had long felt a particularly strong connection with Timothy, since even before his mother died, but it hadn't been until she had saved him from his father's stressed temper and had patched up the boys grazed elbow that a friendship had been formed. Ever since that day the pair had been great friends and she delighted in his visits and chats. She had formed quite a collection of pictures from him, though nothing could top that very first one she had received via Sister Julienne.

'Thank you for the postcard you sent him. I've never seen him quite so excited.' He grinned as they got into the car and he began to turn the car around.

'I had to make contact with you but I didn't have the courage to write to you directly. And as I said I'm very fond of Timothy.'

'I must admit until that postcard, and you terming my letters kind I had almost given up hope of even saving our tenative friendship let alone...this...this wonderous miracle of an occurrence.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. You did what time you had to do and know we are here. Together. Let that be the thing that matters.'

'Yes.'

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><p>'Timothy come here a moment there's something I need to talk to you about.' Patrick said pacing back and forth in front of his desk. Intrigued Timothy abandoned the book he was reading and walked in to his Dad's office.<p>

'Is it about why you ran off earlier?' He had been confused when he had been suddenly left in the care of the receptionist as his father dashed out of the surgery with an unfamiliar look on his face.

'Yes. It is. Timothy something rather marvelous has happened. I know this may be difficult to hear but you're old enough to be told the truth. You know that I will always love your mother don't you.' Patrick faltered, unsure of how to continue on with this most unusual of conversations.

'Yes.'

'Well sometimes in life a man is lucky enough to find another women as amazing as your mum.'

'Dad what's going on?' Timothy frowned. He wish his Dad would just say what he meant. He'd just got to a rather exciting bit in his book and was eager to return to it as soon as he could.

'Sister Bernadette has left the Order. She's at Nonnatus House right now signing the papers so she can become Shelagh again.'

'No she can't leave! I don't want her to leave.' Tim cried out.

'Tim she's left the Order because she loves me and I love her. Love her like I loved your mum. Tim I want to ask her to marry me. She'd come live with us and become your stepmother so I need to know how you feel about this. I won't do anything unless you are 100% okay with it.'

'Sister Bernadette would be my mum?' Tim gaped. This was too much to ask for. He pinched himself.

'Shelagh. And yes.'

'I'd see her every day and she'd be my mum.'

'What do you think?' He got his answer in the arms that were suddenly flung around his neck.

'I think it's brilliant. Does this mean you're going to stop being so sad Dad?'

'Yes son. Shelagh makes me very happy. Very happy indeed. Much happier than I have been in a long long time.'

'Good. When are you going to ask her? Are you going to do it today? Can I help?'

'I was going to ask her in a few days time to make sure that she's settled in and certain. I'd like to spend more time with her first, this must all be very overwhelming for her. And I appreciate your offer and eagerness but I think this is something I should do by myself son.'

'Oh. Ok.' Patrick's heart broke as he saw the light dim in his son's eyes

'Although I may just have had an idea. Why don't you draw something for her? Or write a note. Let her know that you're on board with this. But you cannot say a word to her about this. It will have to be our secret okay?'

'Yes Dad.' Tim grinned again.

'Thank you. I'm going to ask Shelagh if she'd like to have dinner with us tonight so can you tidy the living room and kitchen please in case she says yes. I'll drop you off on my way to pick Shelagh up. I'll see if Mrs M will watch you.'

'What did your last slave die of?'

'Exhaustion.'

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><p>'How did it go?' He asked softly as Shelagh approached him, head held high but with the red-rimmed eyes that were so telling of her suffering.<p>

'Horrible. Painful But it was never going to be easy. Sister Julienne cried.' She said quietly, brushing away an errant tear that slid down her face.

'She did? I've never seen her cry on all the time I've known her.'

'Neither have I.'

Come here.' He opened his arms to her. She shook her head.

'No. Not here. Don't worry I'm not ashamed of us it's just the nurses don't know yet that I've left so if they were to see us hugging so closely it would shock them and prompt them to ask lots of awkward questions. I'm not ready to face them just yet.' She explained smiling apologetically at him.

'Okay. I'll drive you to your lodgings then. Do you have a particular one in mind?'

'Whichever is closest to you and Timothy.' She blushed.

'Okay. I've spoken to him and he's absolutely thrilled. Well he was once I reassured him that you were not leaving Poplar. He was distraught when he thought you were leaving for good.'

'I'm glad.'

'Would you...would you like to have dinner with us tonight? Nothing fancy of course, you've heard my son complain about my cooking. Not that I can't cook of course. You know how children like to exaggerate, and I'd take special care cooking. You're very special Shelagh.'

'Stop rambling Patrick.' She laughed. 'I would love to have dinner with you and your son. And thank you.'

'Good. Thank you. ' They settled back into the car and rode in a contented silence for several minutes before Shelagh realised something was wrong

'Patrick you're driving in the wrong direction.'

'Less than 2 hours after we profess our love for each other and you're already correcting me.' He laughed.

Get used to it. I have an entire speech planned about your ties and jumpers.' She giggled. He thought it was the greatest sound he had ever heard.

'I look forward to hearing it.'

'Where are we going then?'

'You look like you could do with a hug and you don't want to be seen by prying eyes so I'm taking you to this private spot I know. Unless you'd rather not because alone with me in seclusion. It's alright if you don't.'

'I'd love to see your spot.'

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><p>'Wow. Patrick this is beautiful.'<p>

'You're beautiful. And I am going to keep telling you until to believe it. And every day after that.'

'Thank you.' She blushed deeply.

'Still up for that hug?'

'Oh yes please.' She barrelled into his chest and felt his strong arms encircle her immediately. For the first time in many months she allowed herself to consider his arms. His strong, powerful, safe arms. Perhaps it wasn't such a good thing to think about she realised as she felt herself flush. She burrowed further into his embrace instead.

'Do you want to talk about what happened in Nonnatus House?' She nodded. 'Come on, there's a seat just over there. He lead her, hand in his, to a secluded bench surrounded by tall trees. 'So?' He wrapped his arms back around her and she leant her head against his shoulder, both marvelling in the fact that they were finally allowed to touch each other.

'Sister Julienne was very understanding. Very polite. Too polite. It was as if she didn't know me. She treated me like a stranger. Every time I tried to explain myself properly she'd cut me off with paperwork. I think I've really hurt her Patrick. I was her protege. I was supposed to take over from her when she eventually retired. And now I'm not. I feel like I've betrayed her.' She admitted sniffling.

'Shelagh you haven't betrayed anyone. You listened to God and took the path He wanted for you. You accepted happiness. What could be wrong with that? Nothing happened between us whilst you were a nun. Aside from the time I kissed your hand. And kissing you earlier.'

'I'm very glad you did both.' She smiled shyly.

'She loves you Shelagh. She only wants you to be happy.'

'She looked heartbroken. Oh you should have seen her face when I asked her for some normal clothes when I was in the Sanatorium last week. I wish I could do this without hurting her. Gaining you and Timothy is worth everything but it doesn't stop me wishing things were different with her.'

'Did you even ask about staying there?'

'I was going to. You managed to persuade me but the way she treated me...she did hug me though, after I'd signed everything. I think we both needed it. But she ended it quickly. Admittedly I didn't want to ever let go but it would have been nice to have at least extended it a bit. Nonnatus and it's inhabitants are not my home anymore. You are. You and Timothy.'

'Oh my beautiful Shelagh. You will always have a home with us. But give the rest of Nonnatus House a chance? They might surprise you.'

'I don't want to talk about it any further Patrick.' She said firmly.

'Okay. But I won't let you drop this completely.'

'Alright. But for now I just want to sit in your arms and admire the view.'

'I already am.' He grinned as he dropped a kiss to her nose.

'Charmer.'

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><p><strong>Do you think I should continue or leave it here?<strong>

**I'm toying with the idea of Shelagh and Timothy's first post leaving meeting and the dinner. What do you think?**

**Reviews etc appreciated as ever xxx**


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